A friend of mine was in this extremely romantic mood the other day. You know, when all the world looks wonderful and the pollution smells like roses. I was in the “life-has-screwed-me” mood, and he was trying to cheer me up.

Anonymous Friend(AF): Do you know your problem is? You’re not romantic.
Me: Tell that to my compiler.
AF: No, seriously. You need to be in deep connect with your inner self. That is the only true reality. Have you never been in love?
Me: Yeah, but…
AF: What does love mean to you?
Me: Large Ones Very Entertaining

I must have knocked his “deep connection with his inner self” right out. I must admit though, that line is not one of my originals. I picked it from another friend I knew in college. You should read some of the responses he used to write in slam books:

Q: What does LIFE mean to you?
A: Living: In Futile Existence

Q: What is your favorite hindi-movie moment?
A: Mein tere bacche ke maa banne wali hoon.

Q: How do you see yourself in the context of the universe?
A: I’m only making a guest appearance.

etc. etc.

Anyway, coming back to out conversation, AF was still trying to get me to see the light.

AF: Err…OK, lets try this again. Love is in everyone’s sub-consciousness. I’ll prove it to you. We’ll play a game. I’ll ask you a question, and you have to say the first thing that comes to your mind. OK?
Me: OK. Lets play.
AF: When you get up in the…
Me: Wait…How is the scoring done?
AF: What scoring?
Me: This is a game right? How do I score points?
AF: Just shut up and answer the questions. I’ll start again. When you get up in…
ME: Wait…What’s the prize money? You know, KBC is giving 2 crores, and…

I was enjoying this. AF is the type of person whose leg you can pull on and on and he’ll still earnestly try to help you.

AF: When you get up in the morning, what is the first thing that comes to your mind?
Me: “Crap, I must be late”

AF: No, I mean, what does your heart tell you every day?
Me: “I wanna get rich. Quick.”

AF: No, WHO do you think of everyday?
Me: “Basanti”

AF: That’s more like it. Who’s Basanti?
Me: That’s what I call my car.

AF gave up at this point. He must have realized I’m just too far beyond reason and common sense.

AF: You’re hopeless man. Hopeless. You’ll never understand what true love is.
Me: Hey, I know what true love is.
AF: Really? What?
Me: You know RR? She bought her boyfriend a Playstation 2. Now that’s what I call true love.

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