My wife and I are getting ready to go out on a Sunday morning. I’m getting a little irritated because she’s taking forever.

Looking into the mirror, she asks:

Wife: How does this dress look on me?
Me : Great! Awesome!
Wife: Really?
Me (trying to be a smart ass): No, I’m lying.
Wife (giving me THE LOOK) : WHAT?
Me (panicking): No no no…I was kidding about the lying. I was trying to make a joke…
Wife: You’re making jokes about the way I look?
Me : No, no. You got me wrong there. Nothing about the way you look, per se, but the …aa…. the way the dress looks on you…
Wife is giving me a stare
Me : …No no, the dress looks good on you, but the dress in itself is a little …a..aa…
Wife is frowning AND giving me a stare
Me : ….No no, the dress itself is fine, but the way it fits you is a little …hmm……
Wife: Are you saying that I look fat in this dress?
Me : No no no, absolutely not. You got me totally wrong there. What I was trying to imply was that the dress itself is not good enough to compliment your perfect beauty. Yeah, that’s what I meant.
Wife: My Mom gave me this dress as a gift.
Me : Like I was saying, the dress looks great, and is a perfect compliment to your beauty. I was earlier referring to the color of the dress under the daylight. I’m sure it looks great in the indoor lights. The color is a little …hmmm…..warm.
Wife: You don’t think the color looks good?
Me : No no no, the color looks good, it looks great in fact, it …

Wife’s phone rings. It is her friend from college. Thankfully, she gets distracted and starts chatting on the phone. I’m feeling relieved.

25 minutes later, she keeps the phone.

Looking into the mirror, my wife asks:
Wife: “How does this dress look on me?”

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