Back in College, our class was divided into 3 distinct categories.

The first category, I called the “Nerd Circle”. These were the guys that sat in the first bench everyday, got the highest marks and were preparing for the IIT entrance. Daily morning conversation in this circle was along these lines:
Nerd#1: “Did you guys do all the math problems from yesterday?”
Nerd#2: “Yeah. I finished all of them in 35 minutes”
Nerd#3: “Hah! I even did the next chapter’s problems”

The second category, to which I belong, was the “middle class”. We were the guys who were vaguely aware that a good education might help us get jobs in the future, but didn’t stress it. Daily morning conversation in this section of the class was:
middleclass guy#1: “Did you watch the match yesterday?”
middleclass guy#2: “Yeah. Sachin’s 100 was too good!”
middleclass guy#3: “But the moron umpite gave Ganguly LBW. It was clearly outside the leg stump”

I called the third category “the cool people!”. These were the rich kids, who saw college as a source of entertainment during the day. Daily morning conversation of these people was:
cool guy#1: “Yo guys! Check out my new watch! It can tell the temperature”
cool girl#1: “That’s nice. I went to a nightclub yesterday. DJ akeel was playing. It rocked!”
cool guy#3: “…so we went to Paris after that, and the trains there man…too cool…”

I always saw the people from the other groups as somehow better than me. I wanted to be more like them. Then one day, I decided to do something about it. I decided to go sit with the nerds, because I was scared less of them than the “cool!” people.

It’s the math lecture, and I’m 2 minutes early to class. I walk up to the first bench. Usually 4 people sit on a bench, and there are 3 guys already sitting there. I try to stake my claim to the fourth spot.

“Hello!”, I say, as I sit down in the first bench.
“Who’re you?” they ask, in chorus.
“I’m Aditya. Is this place occupied?” I think it might be useful to ask before sitting down, to send the message that I come in peace.
The person next to me nods his approval and I sit down. He resumes his conversation with the benchmates
“…and so, the proton tells the neutron ‘We’ve lost an electron’. Neutron asks ‘Are you sure?’. and the proton says -get this- ‘I’m Positive’”
I want to blend into the group, so I start laughing loudly. The other 3 guys look at me weirdly.

Now I’m perplexed. Did I laugh before the joke was over? Was my style of laughing weird? Are protons holy in this land, and we’re not supposed to laugh at them? I later figured out that nerds don’t tell jokes to make others laugh. They tell jokes to show off their knowledge, and someone actually laughing at their nerdy jokes sends them into shock.

Soon afterwards, the prof walked into the class, and started opening up the text book. My benchmates started doing the same, and even pulled out their notebooks – I had heard of the existance of these so-called ‘lecture notes’, but had never seen any. The concept of lecture notes was alien to me. But for the first time, I saw them in flesh. The guy next to me had a notebook that was titled ‘1st PUC Maths – Book 3‘. I had only one notebook that I called my ‘Universal Book’ with me. From the front, it was filled with random text – the result of our left-hand speed writing compitition from yesterday – and from the back, it was filled with caricatures and drawings of our teachers. I quickly opened the book to the middle.

The prof started his lecture. I couldn’t help but notice that everything seemed so much bigger from the first bench. The prof looked much meaner close up, and the numbers and equations on the board, more threatening than usual.

The prof, in his usual sleepy voice said – ‘…and so, the result of integrating x to the 4th power by sin (x) is….Anyone know the answer?’

Three hands from my bench shot up. I pretended that my pen had fallen down and put my head below the desk – and kept it there until someone had managed to satisfy the prof and his differential equations. For the rest of the lecture, my pen fell down below the desk several times.

At long last, the lecture was finally over. I’ve never felt so out of place before. I excused myself from the first bench, and returned to my homeland – the last bench. My friends were curious to find out how my adventure had turned out.

“It’s a different world out there man! Full of legendary creatures and mythical beasts. I was lucky to escape with my life. Don’t go near there!”

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