The first time I went to the US, all my relatives came to see me off. I mean ALL of them. Uncles and aunties, their friends, the friends’ neighbors and their kids and pets. For some reason, all of them felt that it was their responsibility to share the happiness of my “achievement” of going to “The America”. The environment in my house that day was like that of a wedding.

All the gathered people also felt it was their moral obligation to give me all advice they could. Starting with my grandma. She’s never been on a plane before, but that doesn’t stop her from dishing out DOs and DON’Ts.

Grandma: “Be careful, don’t put your hand outside the window, the planes go very fast. After you reach, the first thing you should do is to go to a temple. Are there any temples there?”
Cousin: “Yes. Lots of them in Las Vegas. Very holy city!”
Grandma: “Good. Go to there immediately and offer a pooja. OK?”
Me: “I definitely will. Thanks for the permission!”

An aunt of mine grabs me by the hand and takes me aside. She’s whispering…
Aunt: “I’ve heard the girls over in The America are very modern. You should be very careful. If they come up to you, remember the Lord Hanuman and say the Gayatri Mantra. OK?”
Me: “Well, OK…”
An uncle intercepts our conversation.
Uncle: “Eh, What? Are you planning to do the site-seeing? Where are you going? California?”
Me: “Texas. Austin”
Uncle: “Good good. How much salary are you getting? I’ve heard you get more than 2 lacs per month?”
Me: “Well, if you convert the dollars directly, yes. But the living costs there are proportionally high, and so…”
A different Aunt now hijacks our conversation.
Aunt#2: “Have you packed everything? Passport? Visa? Tickets?”
Me: “Don’t worry, if I don’t have those, they’ll send me back.”
Aunt#2: “Don’t talk apshakuna. Here, eat this prasadam, and do namaskaram to the elders.”
I eat the prasadam and touch her feet.
Aunt#2: “Bless you! May you bring back lots of dollars. I’ve packed some tulsi leaves for you. Put them in your bath water everyday, it keeps you healthy.”

It’s finally time for me to go, and I get into the car that’ll take me to the airport. Even as I’m saying goodbye, the gyaan is still flowing…

“Call immediately after you reach. Don’t go to any beaches. Don’t make friends with bad people. Don’t eat any non-vegetarian things. Smoking is bad for health. Don’t eat too much cheese…”

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