Some people have all the talent in the world. They have skills that I desperately wished I had. The seemingly useless skillset is, in fact, very valuable if used in the right situations.

1. Sleeping on Demand
Some people have this rare gift of being able to fall asleep whenever they feel like it. It’s almost like they have a switch – which they can turn on and presto! Instant Sleep.

I had this co-worker who was a master of this skill. He had a manager in the US, and used to frequently have late-night conf calls with him. One time, during a one-on-one:
Manager: “We’ve decided to outsource this module.”
Dude: “OK?”
Manager: “We need you to come up with an outsourcing proposal detailing all the user-requirements into a design document. Can you get it ready next week?”
…silence… Dude has fallen asleep
Manager: “Hello? Hello! Are you there? Hello! Hello!”
Dude: “Hmm? What? Oh! I didn’t catch the last part. Could you please repeat it?”
Manager: “Sure! We have to come up with an outsourcing design doc that can be used as a template for future modules to the same vendor. I was thinking next week?”
Sound of Snoring…
Manager: “Hello? Hello! Are you there? What’s that weird noise? Hello? Hello!”
Dude: “Hmm? What? Oh… That’s just static on the line. What was the last part again?”

2. Thick Skin
Some people have this amazingly thick skin that no weapons (verbal or physical) can penetrate. This is best demonstrated when you ask such people a direct question. They will ignore your question entirely and answer a completely different, irrelevant question. Example:

Journalist: “Lalluji, There are allegations that you swindled the Cow fodder money. What do you have to say in your defense?”
Lallu Prasad: “The government is completely committed to Cow Fodder. It is our aim to make sure every farmer in this country gets all the Cow Fodder that he needs, and it is in the interest of the Nation. Jai Hind.”

Example #2:
Software Engineer: “When will I go onsite?”
Project Manager: “Our project currently is on fire. There are several requirements for client-facing roles that will come up in the near future. If you can fix all these bugs this time, I will keep a look out for opportunities for you next time.”
Software Engineer: “But that’s what you said last time!”
Project Manager: “Thank you for dropping by. Please close the door on your way out.”

3. Ridiculous Optimism
Some people have this ridiculous optimism about them. They never seem to be worried about anything. You can identify such people easily, because they use the “it could have been worse” and “Look at the bright side…” phrases a lot.

Dude: “I flunked my exam!”
Ridiculous Optimist: “It could have been worse. You could have been hit by a truck when you were coming on your bike.”
Dude: “I don’t even have a bike. I come by bus.”
Ridiculous Optimist: “It could have been worse. You might have been child labor in Afghanistan.”

Dude: “I have brain tumor. I’m going to die.”
Ridiculous Optimist: “Look at the bright side. At least the aliens didn’t kidnap and torture you.”
Dude: “My karma is in the negative. I think I’m going to hell.”
Ridiculous Optimist: “Look at the bright side. Rakhi Savant will soon join you in Hell!”

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