I’ve amassed a lot of knowledge over time giving Career Advice. Now, I’ve decided to share this knowledge with the rest of the world. I notice that most people have the same set of questions, and I’ve compiled them all here for your convenience.

Q: What branch of Engineering should I major in - Information Science or Computer Science?
A: As everyone already knows, the right answer is B.A in Philosophy. There are several reasons why Philosophy is better than Engineering. Here are the top 2:
1) The net sum of knowledge gained during Engineering is negative.
2) Turning in a blank answer sheet has deep philosophical meaning. In a Philosophy course, it might get you some marks.

Q: But I’m really good with Computers and Programming.
A: So you’re willing to work hard? That’s good. Hard work will bring you deep satisfaction, loads of riches, power, fame, get you 120 patents and make Rakhi Sawant fall for you.

Q: Really?
A: No.

Q: What skills are necessarily to survive in the Real World?
A: You mostly need the “soft” skills. Namely being able to speak Jargoneese, ability to listen to endless rambling and suppress the urge to murder and the ability to pretend to look interested when 4/5ths of your brain has gone off to sleep.

Q: What should I look for in a company before joining?
A: The answer depends on if you’re going for campus placement or are changing jobs.
If you’re in campus, the most important thing is the magic number on the last slide of the PPT.
If you’re changing jobs, pick the job that has the chill life.

Q: How can I become rich and famous like Bill Gates?
A: LOL! Dream On!

Q: What’s your secret formula for success?
A: Aditya’s secret recipe for success:
1) Join Engineering
2) Play snooker for 4 years
3) Join Software Company
4) Redefine success as not getting fired. Then spend all your time writing silly blog posts

Related Posts