A few years ago, I decided to do something special for my GF’s birthday - I decided to buy her a gift. Those days, you’d be lucky if I didn’t write you a poem for your birthday, so this was really special. I really wanted to be nice and buy her a nice gift that she’d like.

I’ve never bought anyone a gift before, so I’m thinking what qualifies as a good gift. I decide to consult the voices in my head.

Me: “So, guys! What do you think I should buy?”
Voice #1: “I’d really like to get the “Need for Speed - Carbon” game. I heard it has great graphics!”
Voice #2: “Not for you moron, for her.”
Voice #1: “I know, I know. We could buy it for her, and “borrow” it from her when she’s not using it.”
Russian Voice: “GOOD! I LIKE! PLAY GAME!”
Voice #2: “She doesn’t even have a PlayStation!”
Voice #1: “That’s the beauty of the plan. She won’t need it often if she can’t play it…”

Me: “Oh, come on you guys. I want it to be really thoughtful. Remember, it is the thought that counts”

Voice #1: “Yeah. Why don’t you go tell her ‘I thought of buying you a gift. Then I spent the money putting Petrol in the bike. But hey! It’s the thought that counts, so, Happy Birthday’ “
Voice #2: “You’re so insensitive. See if I ever wish you on your birthday.”
Voice #1: “Oooo…Mr. Sensitive…ooo….are you going to cry like a girl now? boo hoo…”
Voice #2: “STOP IT! OR ELSE…”
Me: “Guys, guys….relax…”
Voice #1: “Oooooo…What is Miss Sissy going to do? Oooo….Look at me…I’m all scared…Is Missy…”

BASH!!! CRASH!!! THUD!!!

I hear sounds of a struggle. Looks like a fight has broken out. I can hear the two struggling about.
Russian Voice: “YAY! KEEEL HIM! KEEEL HIM! HAHAHAHA!”

Seeing that these jokers are of no use, I decide to do it alone. Lets see…What do girls want? They like Art-type things. Maybe I’ll get her a painting. Yeah. But they’re expensive. What arty stuff can I buy for 20 bucks? Hmmm…Maybe a keychain. Yes, that’s a good idea. Let me get her a keychain with some handicraft-thing on it. That’ll be nice.

And so I went to Cauvery and bought a keychain attached to a square plate that had some round drawing on it. Very nice! Only 19 rupees, even. I was very pleased with myself. What a thoughtful gift!

On the day of the birthday, I wished her and told her I’d got her a gift.
GF: “Choo Chweeet! What did you get me?”
Me: “Hah! You’ll never guess! It’s so thoughtful that you won’t be able to think of it”
GF: “Did you get me that big stuffed teddy bear?”

Oh My GOD! Is she expecting something big and expensive? Oh No! I don’t think she’s going to like my little 19-rupees keychain.
Me: “Oh? Err…no…something more…hmm…creative”

GF: “OK, I know. You bought me the ‘20 Most Beautiful Love songs’ CD.”
Me: “No…Something more…hmm…artistic”

GF: “Oh, I know. You made me a big bouquet with roses and lillies and tulips…”
That’s it. I’m screwed.
Me: “Maybe you should stop guessing. Here. Happy Birthday”

I pulled the keychain from my pocket and handed it over to her. Her reaction was that of shocked disbelief. I think it might have been a good idea to gift wrap the keychain. But that was 5 rupees extra.

GF: “What’s this?”
Me: “It’s a keychain!”
GF: “What is this plate for?”
Me: “Isn’t it artistic? Do you like it?”
GF: “Sighhhhhh……Well, I guess it’s only the thought that counts”

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