Have you noticed how some people are very nervous when they’re traveling? They seem to plan their trips endlessly, weeks in advance. My wife has that tendency.

Wife (2 weeks before travel date) : “OK, Here’s the packing plan. All clothes go into this bag and all the shoes and purses go into this bag…”
Me (4 hours before flight): “Hmm…I’m probably going to need a bag to take stuff. Do we have a big bag?”

Since they’re planning so much in advance, you’d think that as the date approaches, they’ll be calm and composed, because everything has been planned and taken care of. Quite the contrary.

Wife: “What kind of questions will immigration ask? I hope they don’t flunk me.”
Me: “They’ll ask you to quote from Shakespeare.”
Wife: “Really? Why?”
Me: “To check if you’re a Terrorist. Terrorists hate Shakespeare”

I keep telling my wife that it is not possible to get lost at airports. These days the security is so tight at airports that if you stray out of the way even a little bit, they’ll catch you and make sure to put you on your flight. But this answer doesn’t satisfy everybody.

Wife: “After I get off at Heathrow, how do I know which is the next plane to catch?”
Me (patiently trying to answer): “You just look for the gate for flight number. There will be signs to guide you.”
Wife: “Where will the signs be?”
Me (loosing it): “It’ll be written on a wooden board on the side of the plane. “LON <--> NY” Just like trains. They’ll also have a reservation chart…”

I make fun of these people, but my carelessness and lack of planning is probably the reason I’ve missed more than one connecting flight, had my name called out on the public announcement system several times for not showing up at the boarding gate on time and lost my bags so many times that they’ve probably seen more places than I have. Does this mean that I should become more careful? Of course not! Being lazy and careless in one of the primary pillars of Adityaism! I always follow my principles. Except if I’m feeling lazy.

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