The 6th and 7th semester of college is popularly known as the GRE and CAT season. This is the time when perfectly normal people start getting worried about their future and doing silly things. Like studying for GRE, GMAT, CAT, Goat and whatnot. The whole atmosphere of the college changes.

Before the season:
Me: “Good Morning, man. How was your weekend?”
Friend #1: “Cool!”

During the season:
Me: “Good Morning, man. How was your weekend?”
Friend #1: “Exhilarating! My amicable indulgence commensurate with the diaphanous medium resulted in mastication.”
Me: “You got hit by a bus?”
Friend #1: “No, I saw a bad movie.”
Me: “What’s with the heavy language?”
Friend #1: “I’m mugging the GRE word list. The book says to use it on friends.”

As this weirdness continued around me, I was starting to feel left out of the race. I had no idea what the race was, but you rarely know these things. Anyway, I decided to enroll into a CAT class because everyone else was doing it.

On the first day of this class, we had a mock “Group Discussion”. The Instructor gave the topic: “Euthanasia”. Now, to be honest, I had no idea what the topic meant, but maybe the voices in my head could help?

Voice #1: “I think it’s a eastern European country”
Voice #2: “No, I think it is ‘Youth-In-Asia’. Talk about how the kids are getting addicted to the TV these days.”
Russian Voice: “???, ??? ???????? ??????? ????????!”

I decided to go with Voice #2 because I know more about TV than about Eastern Europe. And because I have no idea what the Russian dude is saying.

As soon as the instructor said start, I launched into a passionate speech.

“Today’s youth is watching too much TV. The idiot box is intruding into the creativity of our youth and making them lazy. Death to the TV, I say! It is our responsibility to ban the saas-bahu serials!”

There was a look of shocked disbelief on faces of the other participants and the instructor had his hand on his forehead. This could mean only one thing: I had smashed the debate with one powerful argument, and left everyone speechless!

Instructor: “Err…Hmm….Let’s stop this discussion here and try a new topic.”
Me: “Did I win? Do I get a prize?”
Instructor: “Mr. Aditya, Can you come see me outside for a minute?”

It turns out that Euthanasia means Mercy Killing by Doctors. I never understand why these MBA-types use fancy words like “Euthanasia” when a simple “Mercy Killing” would be sufficient. Anyway, the Instructor patiently explained to me that I would need to put in significant effort in reading and become more well versed in current affairs before the next class. He asked me what I usually read.

Me: “I read Tinkle and all the comic strips in Bangalore Times. I sometimes also read Archie comics”

For the second time today, he seemed to be at a loss for words. I thought these MBA-types were good communicators. He must not be a very good instructor.

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