[Part 1 of this series is here]

As I made my way to the front of the stage from the last row of the auditorium, I was wondering how this could be possible! Did I really win the “Best Outgoing Student”?

I had a bad feeling about this. I kept thinking that as soon as the HOD saw me, she’d say:
HOD: “Oh, YOU are Aditya Kulkarni? I thought it was that skinny guy with glasses that has 100% attendance. I’m sorry, this award is not for you. You can go back and sit now.”

Or maybe as I got on the stage, they’d say:
HOD: “Aditya has always been outstanding – Standing out of the class, that is! Harharhar…”

Or the HOD would say
HOD: “We decided to give this award to him to make sure he takes it and never comes back here again!”

But nothing of that sort happened. I went on stage, was given the award and (some cash prize too!). I, however, did notice the “Bastard-I’ll-Kill-You” look on Drinivas’s and Dwetha’s faces. I tried to avoid them for the next several weeks.

That didn’t help though. In the weeks that followed, I had an unusually high number of “Buffalo encounters”. I’d be driving peacefully, when suddenly, out of nowhere, a Buffalo would come out, and I’d almost hit it. I was pretty sure that Drinivas had paid supari to the Buffalo Overlords, but I couldn’t prove it. Even to this day, I carry a concealed pepper-spray whenever I meet Drinivas.

But in all that confusion, I forgot to do the most important thing – Give an Award-Acceptance speech! I’ve always been jealous of the Oscar award winners and their acceptance speeches, and this was my one chance, and I forgot about it.

Anyway, since I didn’t get the chance to waste hundred’s of people’s time, I’ll just have to waste yours instead.

Aditya’s “Best Outgoing Student Award” speech

Oh wow! This is so unexpected! I wasn’t even planning to attend this awards ceremony, but the tickets at the Movie Theater were sold out, and in black they were selling for….. err…. Anyway, I have several people to thank who have made this possible. Firstly, I want to thank the college watchman who let me in after classes started several times, I wouldn’t have got the 75% attendance without him. I also want to thank my friends from the last bench who introduced me to the joys of Snooker, I don’t know how I’d have survived these 4 years without that! I also want to thank the owner of our canteen for all the delicious pakodas that we smuggled into class. I think I might be forgetting someone…Ooooh…I want to thank all the Professors who gave me passing grade to get rid of me from their class. I couldn’t have done it without you. Thank you everyone, and you can get my autographed picture for only 100 rupees!

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