Jet Lag is a common phenomenon. Lots of people apparently have trouble sleeping when they suddenly make large time-zone shifts. My sister even claims to feel jet lag when traveling from Mumbai to Bangalore (because of the 3-degree change in longitude, apparently).

Jet lag itself doesn’t seem to affect me much, but I suffer from what I call Food Jet-Lag. I’m surprised that other people don’t. My stomach has trouble adjusting to the timezone more that my brain does. That kinda makes sense, because my stomach is the center of my thoughts, and my brain is asleep all the time anyway.

So, I recently got back from the US auf A. The first day went by without any problem, I had dinner and went off to sleep.

Then, at 2:30 AM, I hear some strange noises. I wake up with a start. It’s my tummy growling. It thinks it is Lunch Time. The wife is sound asleep. And to make things worse, the voices in my head start talking too.

Voice #1: “I’m in the mood for Pizza!”
Voice #2: “Yeah. How about a thin-crust pizza with tomato and pineapple toppings, with a layer of cheese on top. And to finish of, some olives and paneer pieces sprinkled ever so lightly…Ah, the flavour…”
Voice #1: “Aaahhh! I can smell it already!”

The graphic description is just too much for me. I’m starting to feel *real* hungry now. I try to see if the wife is awake.

Me: “Are you awake?”
Wife (making a feeble attempt at waking up): “XwuiqaDuriTkjdOas?”
Me: “I’m Hungry!”
Wife: “……………”
She’s probably decided that I’m a bad dream and decided to ignore it. Well, I guess I’m on my own.

I wander down over to the kitchen and try to dig up something from the fridge. As I sit down with my cold food, I wonder if I should attempt to cook up something, but quickly decide against it, based on my previous experiences with cooking.

I start eating, and that gets me thinking: What causes Jet Lag? Based on all the evidence I’ve seen and heard from other people, I come to the most logical conclusion: Jet Lag provides a great excuse for slacking off at home from all your chores for the next several weeks. You can always claim that “This jet lag is very brutal. Can you please do <insert most hated household chore here> for me?“

You can then go and watch TV. If your wife asks how come you’re not asleep, you can quote the several scientific studies that prove beyond doubt that watching TV helps fight Jet Lag.

I think the person that invented Jet Lag was an absolute genius. Don’t you agree?

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