You know, I don’t understand politics at all. Politicians do things that don’t make sense from any angle. Take the recent Deve Gowda adventure, for example.

Here’s my understanding of the political situation in Karnataka:

1) Deve Gowda’s son wants to be CM, so he makes a deal with the BJP.
2) He says I’ll be CM for 20 months, then BJP can put their CM for 20 months.
3) BJP falls for it, Kumaraswamy becomes CM
4) 20 months later, Kumaraswamy asks the BJP to go jump in a well.

What a beautiful political maneuver! Who would have seen it coming? I mean – A politician makes a promise and doesn’t keep up to it? Who would have thought? How cunning of Deve Gowda! Deve Gowda is my favoritest politician. I mean, he’s got style.

This kind of behavior of the politicians reminds me of a similar incident when I was little. Back when I was in 3rd-4th standard, we used to play cricket on the street in front of our house. We used to play with cheap tennis balls and pieces of wood that passed off as bats. Then one day, this kid got a real cricket bat. He became an instant celebrity! At last, we could finally play cricket like real grown-ups.

We started playing. The kid with the bat got to be captain. His team decided to bat first, and since he was the captain, he got to go and play first too. The match started.

First ball. The kid with the bat decided to go for a six, but got bowled! As the bowling team celebrated, the kid decided he was in fact, not out.

Bowler: “What? You were clean bowled”
Kid with the bat: “I was not ready”
Fielders: “Of course you were ready, you took your stance”
Kid with the bat: “Fine! I’m going home, and I’m taking my bat with me”

There was a stunned silence. Everyone wanted to play with the new bat, but this kid was threatening to take it away from us. And so, reluctantly, he was declared not out, and the game continued. As we proceeded with the game that day, the kid with the bat made up several arbitrary rules to suit him.

- Full toss into the house next door was out, but it was a four if it bounced and went into the house.
- one-hand-pitch-catch was allowed. That is, it was out if the fielder caught the ball with one hand after one bounce.
- Tree-catches were allowed.
- “Current Out” was allowed for run-outs. That is, the wicket-keeper only needed to keep his foot on the “wicket” (i.e., stone) and catch the ball. That would be counted as a direct-hit to the wicket.

This cricket game between the 9-year olds pretty much sums up politics. Someone in power has something everyone else wants, so he gets to make up the rules of the game. Everyone else has to be nice to him if they want to play the game. Else, you can just go home.

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