It is first year of college, and there is a knock-out girl in our batch. Everyone is dying to get an intro to this girl, lets call her Doorna. Also hot in pursuit were Chitradeep and I, and after much promises of treats and lending of lab records for copying, we finally managed to convince a common friend to make introductions.

Back then, we had a very strange idea of what chics are impressed by.

Common Friend: “Hey Doorna, meet Chitradeep!“
Doorna: “Hi!“
Chitradeep: “I got a 99 in Maths in 10th Standard!“
Doorna: “Oh?“
Common Friend: “…and this is Aditya“
Me: “I know how to drive a bike! In 3rd gear, that too!“

Needless to say, Doorna was not very impressed with either of us, but that didn’t stop Chitradeep from day-dreaming about her.

Chitradeep: “The two of us are like cos and sin. We compliment each other! We’re like 2 sides of a triangle!“
Me: “She’s hardly aware of you existence man! And, by the way, a triangle has 3 sides.“
Chitradeep: “Yeah. The third side is this evil world, who we have to battle!“
Me: “Best of luck, dude. And I hope she likes clichéd Hindi Movies, for your sake!“

I didn’t think Chitradeep had the courage to ask out such a pretty girl, but he shockingly did, and invited her out for coffee after college. There was quite a buzz that day in college around Chitradeep, and a bunch of us, jealous that Chitradeep had managed to make the first move, decided to get back at him.

We found out where Chitradeep was planning to take her. It was a nice little snacks-and-coffee place near college. As planned, the two of them met up at this place, and, determined to ruin this date for Chitradeep, 11 of us walked in to the same place.

Me (acting surprised to see Chitradeep): “Hey buddy! How come here?“
Chitradeep (very frustrated): “Generally. Why don’t you guys go to that great restaurant across the street? They have great soup!“
Me: “Oh, no. Don’t worry about us. We’ll just sit over there, out of your way.”

And so we sat down at a table right next to the two of them.

Me: “Hey Chitradeep! What’s good to eat out here?“
Chitradeep: “GRRrrrrr….“

Despite our best efforts to be loud, annoying and noisy, Chitradeep managed to keep his cool throughout. But inside, I’ll bet he wanted to pluck the eyes out of my sockets and eat them raw.

As we continued to be a massive disturbance to everyone in the restaurant, from the corner of my eye, I saw Chitradeep taking the rose out of the vase on the table and giving it to Doorna. Oh my God! He was taking it to the next level!

But what happened next has not been understood very well, despite all of us being witness to the shocking unfolding of events that day. Doorna first took the rose, and seemed to like it. She then thought for a while, and then, all of a sudden and without any warning – started crying. She was sobbing like crazy, and suddenly the whole coffee place fell silent, everyone’s eyes on Chitradeep. He was just sitting there and, having no prior experience with crying girls, had absolutely no idea how to react. Doorna stormed out of the place, leaving Chitradeep staring at a blank wall.

Many many years later, Doorna called me and announced that she was getting married! She was inviting me, along with Chitradeep, to her wedding!

As Chitradeep and I were sitting in the wedding hall, looking at Doorna and her new husband, I could clearly sense that Chitradeep was still wondering why a girl would start crying when given a rose.

Chitradeep: “Maybe she couldn’t stand you guys being such jerks that day. That’s why she started crying…“
Me: “Or, maybe she’s allergic to roses!“
Chitradeep: “Hmmm…..I sure hope so man. But it doesn’t matter now, does it?“
Me: “Not unless you got her a bouquet of roses as a wedding gift!“
Chitradeep: “Oh, dammit!“

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