Today’s blog post is by a Guest Blogger. My dear friend, Drinivas, upset over some things I wrote about his academic achievements on this blog, demanded that he be allowed to tell the other side of the story, to expose the real PK. And I’ve obliged.

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– By Srinivasa S:

Getting through to PK is a nightmare even when talking face to face, but here’s what you can expect when you desperately want to talk to him over phone:

Instance 1:
[Poor me] : <Dialing 2573xxxx> –> Ring…Ring…Ring…Ring…<no answer>

Instance 2:
[Poor me] : <Dialing 2573xxxx> –> Ring…Ring…
[PK's Sister] : Hello?
[Poor me] : Can I speak to Aditya please?
[PK's sister] : Is it Srinivas, by any chance?
[Poor me] : Yeah….
[PK's sister] : heohoehohahahaahah!!!!
(She’s so used to PK not being home whenever I call, that she bursts out laughing!)

Instance 3:
[Poor me] : <Dialing 2573xxxx> –> Ring…Ring…Ring…Ring…<no answer>
[Poor me] : <Dialing cellphone 98456xxxx> Ring…Ring…Ring…Ring…
[Electronically recorded voice of a chic] : Hello…you have reached the subscriber’s voice mail box….Please leave your message after the beep
[Poor me] : PK, you @#%$#@^$#!

Instance 4:
[Poor me] : <Dialing 2573xxxx> –> Ring…Ring
[PK] : Yello?
[Poor me] : Thank god I found you…..I wanted to…
[PK] : Listen dude, I’m talking to someone else. Can I call you back in 5 minutes?
[Poor me] : Sure…Bye!

5 mins….. 15 mins…. 30 mins…. 1 hr…. 2 hrs…. 12 hours…no callback

4 days later, at a restaurant over lunch:

[Poor me] : Hey PK, You forgot to call me last week!
[PK] : What’s the date today? When had you called? My phone’s been dead for 4 days daaa!!!

Instance 5:
[Poor me] : <Dialing 2573xxxx> -> (picks up before it starts ringing!)
[PK] : Heeellllooo….?
[Poor me] : You busy?
PK] : No daaaa
Poor me] : You talking to someone else?
[PK] : Noooo maggaaa…
[Poor me] : I wanted to talk to you!
[PK] : I was (yyyaaawwwwnnnnn) sleeeeeeeepin daaaaaaaa….
[Poor me] : Bloody, you’re always sleeping, or busy or something. When are YOU EVER FREE?
[PK] : Let me do one thing…I’ll call back later…<click>

(same saga repeats!)

One day, I considered the alternative of going to his place instead of calling him. There are costs attached to that as well. Distance – 12 Kms, which takes 0.18146153843 liters of petrol, amounting to Rs. 6.6221538463. But wait…this is only the face cost…there’s more:

a) after each trip to his house on those Mud-rally tracks, I need to get my bike’s wheels balanced…cost: Rs. 30 per wheel.
b) after the suffocating drive, I’ll need to purchase a strip of lozenges to soothe my throat and respiratory tract. Ignoring this might demand 100ml of cough syrup too!

He once offered to come pick me on his bike, but I can’t even accept PK’s offer: ‘cuz, his bike is sooooo dirty that after taking a ride on it, looking at my garments, I can’t even say ” Surf Excel hai naa!”. Now I understand why the dude doesn’t park his bike under a shelter: The rain gods occasionally cleanse his bike out of sheer pity!

Now, even after all I’ve said, you’d expect a normal guy to learn from the humiliation. But of course, that doesn’t apply to PK. This is what he said when I wanted to borrow a novel from him, and asked him to get the next day:

“Call me and remind me later today.”

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