Diwali is that magical time of the year where you are legally allowed to create loud noise and generally be a nuisance to everybody. Oh, the joys!

Back when we were in school, we used to look forward to Diwali months in advance. We used to even plan out what kind of crackers to get, which ones were new this season and plan out, in detail, how to expend the crackers over the 3 days that we’d be allowed to play with them.

My favorite was always the rocket. I just love how the thing shoot up straight into the sky. I especially liked the ones that explode when they go up. But I used to get irritated that these rockets went up only so much, and not all the way up to the stratosphere. Then one day, I decided to do something about it.

Me and two of my friends who lived nearby came up with a brilliant plan – We’ll tie together 3 rockets.

Me: “Yeah, lets stick them together with cello-tape.“
Kid #1: “Wow! That should send them real high. Maybe we’ll hit an eagle with our rocket“
Kid #2: “Or maybe a airplane. I’ve always wanted to hit an airplane“
Me: “Ooo…You know what else? Lets tie 3 of these “atom bombs” to the rockets. So when the rocket goes up, all those bombs will explode all at once, and it’ll be spectacular!“

Everyone agreed that this was a brilliant plan. Tying together dangerous firecrackers with flimsy tape, and igniting them all together without any adult supervision. What could possibly go wrong?

And so we went ahead and set it up. 3 Rockets, each carrying a payload of the loudest “atom bomb” we had. We messily stuck them together with cello-tape and brought together all the fuses, and set our beautiful invention into a plastic bottle. Kid #1 won our coin toss and got to light the fuse. So, this Kid goes up and lights the rocket.

Murphy’s laws are the most reliable laws ever. My favorite is “If anything can go wrong it will“. I also like to add my own extension : “…especially if it going wrong will get you into trouble.“

Accordingly, only one of the 3 rockets actually lit up, and it absolutely couldn’t generate enough thrust to take off with the weight of 2 other rockets and 3 bombs. It was just sitting there, spewing sparks like an inverted flower-pot. After 5 seconds or so, the first rocket burnt out, but the other 2 lit up. They slowly lift off, but just as the rockets were out of the plastic bottle, one of the bombs went off. By this time, the flimsy cello-tape holding everything together couldn’t take it anymore, and gave way. We now had 2 rockets with their center of gravity skewed towards one side because of the load of the bombs. And that means that the rockets were flying horizontally, and straight towards the gate of the house in front of ours, where the neighbor’s dog had been keenly watching our experiment.

The dog watched helplessly as one of the rockets made straight for it, and before the dog could turn around and run, the rocket reached it and …… *BBBOOOMMM*

The explosion of the atom bomb scared the living daylights of the dog, and it started yelping, and ran back into the house, horrified. We were, in the meanwhile, wondering where the other bomb had gone, and just as luck would have it, the rocket was wedged in the same neighbor’s rose pots. At least the bomb on it hadn’t exploded.

*BBOOOMMM*

The 3rd bomb exploded while stuck in the rose plant, sending the rose petals flying in all directions, and setting the stem on fire.

That was it. We were as good as dead. The neighbor was going to kill us. We probably caused psychological damage to the dog’s mind and set his rose plants on fire. He was definitely going to kill us. With full realization of what was coming, the 2 kids and I made the run for it and disappeared before the neighbor came out and found out what was happening.

Needless to say, all of us got a sound thrashing the next day and a big lecture on safety. Taking this episode seriously, the 2 kids and I met up later to discuss what had gone wrong. We all came to a unanimous conclusion – Our rockets weren’t big enough. And so, we’d try again next year, but only with bigger rockets!

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