About a year ago, I was visiting China. I’d just gotten off the plane, and had ventured out into the City with a couple of friends looking for Lunch. We had been thoroughly warned of the difficulty of finding edible food in China, but I brushed aside all those warnings. To be a true traveler, you have to live like the locals. When in Rome, do like the Romans. What I soon realised was that whoever said that never visited China.

So the three of us walk into this restaurant. At least it looked like a restaurant from the outside, but when we entered, there was a line of fish tanks on either side of a long corridor. Just as we were wondering how we managed to get into an aquarium, a cheerful young lady walked up next to a couple of locals who were standing in front of us. They seemed to be deciding which fish to buy as a pet for their little nephew back home. One of the guys pointed to a fish, and the other guy nodded in agreement.

The hostess then proceeded to open the top of the fish tank. She then put her hand into the tank, and in one swift motion, caught the fish in her bare hands and pulled it out of the tank, put it on a large white plate with the fish still gasping for air, and disappeared behind the corridor. The 2 guys, satisfied with the result, went around the corner and sat at a table.

Oh My God! This was a restaurant after all, and the two guys had just picked out their lunch! Straight from the fish tank. Talk about eating fresh!

The three of us looked at each other in disbelief. We decided that we didn’t want to eat our food this fresh, so we decided to order off the menu instead. The waitress was very helpful, despite her not able to understand a word of English and our inability to understand Chinese. After a 10-minute game of dumb-chareds, I think we managed to convey to her that two of us would have the Chicken, and our third friend would have anything that was vegetarian on the menu.

Some ten minutes later, our waitress returned with our lunch. But something wasn’t right. She was carrying what looked like a whole chicken, and had it’s mouth stuffed with Cabbage. She put the Chicken on the table and smiled at us.

Me: “Is this the Chicken?“
Waitress: “Cheeken…Cheeken“
Me: “Umm….Do you want to cook it and bring it back? Fry it, maybe?“
Waitress: “You……eat…..nice….very nice….“
Friend #1: “I’d asked for something Vegetarian. Is my Vegetarian dish coming?“
Waitress (pointing at the cabbage that had been stuffed into the Chicken’s mouth): “Vegetable…..You eat…..Vegetable…..Very nice….Vegetarian special…..for……you“
Friend #2: “Hey guys….I think I just saw the Chicken move!“
Me: “WHAT???“

At this point, the waitress also notices that the chicken is indeed moving, and takes out a large butcher’s knife, and hands it to us. She then smiles and pushes off, saying something that amounted to “Enjoy your lunch!”

Needless to say, we went hungry that day. I also later found out that “Vegetarian” in China means “It also has vegetables”, so the correct term is “No Meat”.

From that day on, I’ve given up my chicken-and-meat eating habits. I just can’t bear to look at meat anymore. I’ve turned vegetarian since.

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