I come home one day, to find the wife in a very pensive mood.

Me: “What happened? What are you so deeply thinking about?“
Wife: “I think we should go watch Saawariya again.“

I feel a sudden pain shooting through my heart. My brain cringes with the horrifying memories of those 3 hours spent watching the movie already.
Me: “*GASP*…I…I….I think I’m having a heart attack!“

Wife: “Drama Queen! Anyway, I have this feeling that I didn’t understand the movie. I didn’t ‘get it‘, you know what I mean?“
Me: “There’s nothing to ‘get‘ in the movie. Even I didn’t ‘get‘ it“
Wife: “That’s not surprising. The movie was targeted at a certain audience.“
Me: “What is that supposed to mean?“
Wife: “All I’m saying is that you need to expand your horizons a little bit. Learn how to appreciate art“
Me: “My horizon is too wide already. I’m starting to think about mailing Sanjay Leela Bansali a copy of his own movie. Looks like he forgot to watch it himself.“
Wife: “Anyway, we haven’t watched a movie all week.“
Me: “That is a GOOD THING!“
Wife: “You know what? You’re pretending to hate the movie, but your subconscious liked the movie so much that you can’t stop talking about it.“
Me: “I’m not talking about that stupid Saawariya movie.“
Wife: “See, you did it again!“
Me: “Oh! Wait a minute…My suconciousness wants to say something….I…SLEPT…THROUGH…THE…MOVIE…“
Wife: “Very funny. Oh, by the way, we’re going to watch the movie ‘Goal‘ on Sunday“
Me: “Why?“
Wife: “To help you connect with your inner self.“
Me: “My inner self is well connected, thank you. 8Mbps Broadband, too! If my inner self watches this movie, then it’ll probably disconnect from me.“
Wife: “You owe it to me.”
Me: “My inner self will need to see a psychiatrist if it watches the movie.“
Wife: “Oh by the way, you’re paying for the movie. Thanks a ton!“
Me: “NO I’M NOT!“
Wife: “Oh, I’d check your credit card statement. I think you might find something interesting there.“
Me: “AAaarrrrghhhhhhh…“

So, it turns out, that not only have I lost 3 hours of my life that are not coming back, but apparently I ‘volunteered‘ to pay for the movie tickets! Sanjay Leela Bansali has taken my time and money too! I WANT THEM BACK! DO YOU HEAR ME SANJAY LEELA BANSALI?

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