We have a special episode of the Advice Column today. After the last advice column, I received so many questions, that I’m trying to answer some here:

I have a problem which needs pointless advice. I don’t like to work and want to laze at home. But I want my salary to come without going to affeesss. What should I do?
- A

What you need to do, A, is to join Politics. It’s the perfect Career for you. Think about what Politicians do all day: They….err…hmmm….What do politicians do all day, really?

Which actually brings me to my point nicely. You get to do absolutely nothing all day, and still “magically”, the money seems to flow to you. It usually flows from under tables, but that’s just a technicality.

So, here’s my advice to you: Get to know some Gangsters and become friends with some Goondas. Then, slowly expand your circle to include drug dealers and smugglers. And before you know it, you’ll be the CM!

I have an embarrassing problem.I have more hair on my left toe than on my right. And now my right toe is filing a lawsuit for discrimination. Can you solve this hairy problem, o esteemed One?
- A sincere follower of Adityaism

My heart goes out to you my friend. I experience the same problem with the voices in my head: They keep fighting with each other, and give me a headache.

But I think your problem is solvable: Just shave them both off! There’s nothing prettier than two bald toes sticking out. I’ve heard the chics really dig it.

If that doesn’t work out, I also have a Plan ‘B’ for you: Just cut off those two morons. Yeah! That will also serve as a warning to your fingers to not get into petty disputes. With 2 missing toes, you’ll lead a very happy life.

Hi Adityaji! I am a real fan of your blog and I have a problem. There is this guy I chatted with on IM for a really long time. Now both of us are in Bangalore. And he is pleading with me to give my mobile number and meet him. Although I like him, I am very much scared of my parents and my conscience. What should I do !?
- Miss “Confused fan”

The real problem, as I’m sensing it, is your meddlesome, interfering conscience. You know, this conscience is a very problematic thing. It keeps telling you what to do, bossing you over all the time. What does the conscience know, anyway? It’s hanging around poking it’s nose into your affairs, never letting you have fun.

There is only one solution to this problem. Shoot the conscience. As I’ve discovered, Life without a Conscience is very free and fun. It could work for you. Give it a try!

If you would like to ask a question in Aditya’s Advice Column, send a mail to advice@pointlesswanderings.com. Don’t worry, your identity will be kept a secret!

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