Devdas, in my humble opinion, was the worst movie ever. How do I know? BECAUSE I SAW IT THRICE!

Yes, this is my sad story of how I ended up watching the remake-of-a-remake-of-a-movie-of-a-book three times.

The first time, I had to watch it because I was then trying to impress the wife, my Girlfriend at that time. I’d been trying to take her out, but something or the other kept coming up. But finally, an opportunity came.

GF: “I’m free this Saturday. What do you want to do?”
Me: “Oh, great! I’ll take you to a movie.”
GF: “I want to watch Devdas!”
Me: “Sure, any movie. Let’s just go out”

Oh, the follies of youth. I was so excited that we were going out, that I didn’t bother to check what the movie was. Turns out, it was 3 hours of non-stop flashy songs with plenty of crying and dancing. By the end of the movie, my head was ready to blow apart.

GF: “What a beautiful movie! Did you notice the attention to detail?”
Me: “Yeah. Mind blowing. Literally!”

The Second time, I had to go see the movie because of my big mouth. The GirlFriend was standing along a bunch of friends, evidentially discussing the movie.

Friend #1: “…and “Devdas” shows are at 6:15 and 9:30 tonight”

I thought this dude was planning on going to see Devdas again (I knew he’d seen it once). Back then, I was desperately trying to impress the GF, so I thought a wisecrack would be appropriate. You know, to win her over with my sense of humour.

Me: “Who would want to watch the movie twice? That’ll be like going in front of an angry bull…”

I wanted to say “That’ll be like going in front of an angry bull and saying ‘Feeling Hungry, Pretty Boy?‘”, but before I could complete my joke, the friend furiously made signs to indicate that the GF wanted to see the movie again, not him.

Oh Crap! Now I had to change the joke mid-sentence.

Me: “…and telling the angry bull…err….why don’t you…hmm….watch Baba Ramdev…”
The GF is looking at me weirdly.
Me: “…and meditate…err…to understand….hmmm….the beauty of art….uh-huh…in movies like Devdas…”
There is shocked silence. Everyone is staring at me.
Me: “…which I think everyone should watch twice.”

Voices in my head: “OH, NO! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?”
GF: “Do you want to see Devdas again? I didn’t think you enjoyed it. But if you insist, I do have an extra ticket.”

And so, I’m at the theater ONCE AGAIN listening to Madhuri and my Head singing ‘Maar Daala…. OOooooo… Maar Daala’.

The Third time was a real tragedy. I had managed to convince the GF to watch “Men In Black 2″ after great persuasion. Back then, there were no multiplexes, but there was this complex in central Bangalore with several theaters. Each theater had it’s own ticket counter, so we walked up to the window under the “Men in Black 2″ banner.

Me: “Two tickets for the 12:15 show”
Dude behind window: “The show is at 1:15″
Me: “That’s weird. The poster says 12:15. That’s OK, give me 2 tickets”

I took the 2 tickets, and the GF and I roam around for an hour, and come back to the Theatre at 1:15. As we start to walk towards the entrance, there is no one else there. That’s weird, I think. The Movie is not THAT bad. As I try to walk in, the usher sees my tickets and says: “These are tickets to that theatre over there. This theatre’s show started at 12:15″

Me: “But the ticket window….”
And at that point it hit me. I bought tickets to the wrong theater. Oh, Crap. I look across to the other theater.

There’s a huge crowd of people rushing to get in. Above them is a giant poster of Aishwariya Rai and Madhuri Dixit saying “DEVDAS: A Grand Saga Of Eternal Love!“

Me: “NAAAHHIIIINNNN……“

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