I can’t believe it’s the end of the year already! Didn’t this year feel especially short? I think we might have missed some months. I don’t remember experiencing a June or a February. We might have skipped those two. I’ve got to go and check the calander again!

Anyhow, it’s that time of the year where I review how I’m doing on the goals and new year resolutions that I’d created when the year started. This year I had only a few resolution (against my usual average of several thousand), so this should be easy.

2007 Resolutions

1) Don’t make fun of other people
I think I’ve made good progress on this front. I dragged only a few people into mud-slinging. Only Atif, actually. And maybe Archisman. Hmm…Dwetha and Dyothi also. I might have said some things about Chitradeep Chetty too, but it probably didn’t affect his delicate mental balance and push him into insanity. And then there’s Drinivas. It’s OK to make fun of Drinivas because he’s been made an honorary blonde.

Q: In a fight between Smart Drinivas and Blonde Drinivas, who would win?
A: Blonde Drinivas, because Smart Drinivas is a fictional character. Har har har!

Anyway, I think I can mark this goal as “Achieved!”

2) Don’t watch any Sanjay Leela Bansali movies
This goal didn’t work out so well for me. Not only did I end up watching his stupid “Saawariya” movie, but I’m pretty sure all the blue scenes have left my brain permanently damaged.

As soon as the movie ended in the theater, I came running out, gasping for air and to remind myself that the world was not all blue. I ran out of the multiplex into the freshly polluted Bangalore air! I looked up and just as I wanted to thank God for making the blue movie end, there it was – The massive, stretching as wide as the horizon – The Sky – AND IT WAS ALL BLUE!!!

I think there’s a conspiracy going on here, and it’s only a matter of time before I blow it wide open. Keep watching this space!

3) Learn a new skill
I think I can mark this as “Achieved!”. I learned several new skills over the course of this year. The most important being Rationalization. I can now convince myself of anything. Rationalization is a very powerful self-hypnosis technique that will prove to be invaluable over “the long run”. Like how I am going to rationalize my next goal, which was:

4) Exercise

I can mark this goal as “Achieved!” because one night, I dreamt that I was working out. Exercising in your dreams is just as good as exercising in real life because real life depends on dreams and aspirations. Aspiring to dream about Exercising is an exhausting activity. Therefore, it constitutes as exercise.

Hence Proved.

5) Figure out what Women Really Want
I’ve made great progress in this area. After several agonizing hours of ruminating over this problem, I have attained the great secret that has eluded even the wisest for centuries.

What do Women really want? Easy: Women really want to buy Red Shoes! Except if the Black ones are on sale. And only not if the Blue ones come at a 50% discount, except if they already have Black shoes, in which case the Red shoes will compliment the Black ones except when the Reds are in fashion.
It’s quite simple really. :)

That makes it 4 out of 5 goals achieved this year! Quite something, isn’t it?

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