It’s time again for Aditya’s Advice Column

Q: I’m a feminist, and a very passionate one that that. But there is this guy at work that keeps arguing pointlessly about feminism with me. He doesn’t have anything positive to say, and I think he’s arguing just for the fun of it. Is it OK if I use my Karate skills and kick this guy?
- Ghayal

A: I completely understand your frustration, Ghayal. I’ve known guys like that. But you know what? People that argue pointlessly are often the ones that have the greatest wisdom. Pointless Wanderings, as I’m sure you know, are the contained in the Principles of the Japanese art of Zen. The ancient Indian texts also refer to Pointless Wanderings extensively - Also known as “meditation” to the common man. So I urge you to look deeply at this person’s ramblings, go to a mountain top and meditate on what they mean.

Also, I understand your urge to use your 2 violent skills - Feminism and Karate - together. I would direct your energy towards Sanjay Leela Bansali, who has managed to make several anti-feminist movies. “How” you ask? Have you noticed that SLB’s movie titles are all Male sounding?

“Saawariyaa“, and not “Saawariyee“. “Devdas“, and not “Devdasi“. “Black“, and not “Pink“. If anyone deserves the kick, it’s Sanjay Leela Bansali. Best of luck with that. Let me know how it goes.

Q: I’m in my final year of Engineering, and we have our placements coming up soon. With the recession and all happening, everyone is saying that it’s going to be a tough year for placements. What should I do to maximize my chances during the interview?
- K

A: Getting prepared for interviews is one of those very important life-skills that colleges ignore to teach the students - along with kite-flying, jargoneese-speaking and back-calculations. Fortunately, I can give you some interview tips:

Always be prepared for answers to common questions. One of my friends, Uddwal, was an expert at interviewing. Check out his answers, they may be helpful to you.

Interviewer: So, why do you want this job?
Uddwal: Oh, I don’t really want this job. This job is my backup. But thanks for asking, anyway.

Interviewer: Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?
Uddwal: My friend and I plan to become Tobacco farmers. I want to do timepass in your company till then. I heard you have a snooker table?

Interviewer: And finally, Do you have any questions for me?
Uddwal: Yes. How many interviewers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Interviewer: Excuse Me?
Uddwal: Only one, but he’s going to ask the candidate to do it, because the interviewer doesn’t know the answer himself. Hehohehehoahaharharhar!

Q: I’m the big boss of a largish software company that makes operating systems and such things. I’m retiring later this year, and I have a bunch of money stashed up that I don’t know what to do with. I’m thinking I’ll give it away to charity. What do you think?
- Bill G

A: Hi Bill! I think it’s a bad idea to give away your tiny little savings to charity. What will you eat after you retire? But if you feel strongly about it, you can go ahead and give it to charity.

But before you do, you should ask which group of people deserves the money the most? I think the answer is Bloggers. Yes, these are the under-previleged group that lives on the streets of the internet, leading miserably lives, trying to get by on the daily laughs that they get on their blogs. Nobody cares about their plight. They need the money the most. Especially young Bloggers, say in the 25ish age group whose names start with an ‘A’? If you donate money to this very charitable cause, you will automatically get a ticket to heaven, and that too business class! What a good deal, no?

So do your soul a good deed and donate the money. Send me an email if you need specific details (like bank account numbers and such).

If you’d like to ask a question in Aditya’s Advice Column, send a mail to advice@pointlesswanderings.com. Don’t worry, your identity will be kept confidential.

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