Back when I was a kid, my dad was really worried about me. He wanted to see me as a ‘complete person’ and as an ‘all-rounder’. I just wanted to buy the latest tinkle and WWF cards. This, as you can imagine, let to lots of “conflicts-of-interest” between us.

Dad: “There are bigger things in life than Tinkle, you know”
Me: “Like the mega-annual, 250-page special Tinkle comics edition? Wow! Are you going to get me that?”
Dad: “OK. Let’s start again. You need to develop new hobbies.”
Me: “I don’t like new hobbies. They’re boring!”
Dad: “I’m going to introduce you to a new hobby. Here, let me show you my stamp collection!”
Me: “Why would anybody collect stamps? Why don’t you just go to the post office and buy some?”

Dad gave me a cold stare at that point. I knew, from experience, that saying anything after Dad gave that cold stare meant that he’d get angry and I won’t get to watch cartoons on TV later. So, I kept quite.

It seems that Dad used to collect stamps when he was back in College. He had a huge lot of pen friends from all over the world, and even had a huge collection of all kinds of exotic stamps. He gave that collection to me as some sort of coming-of-age-type gift, so that I could carry on this marvelous tradition in our family.

When I saw the stamp collection, I had the same feeling a tiger cub has to anything that moves: “How can I eat this?”. I carried this stamp-collection, which was in a 200-page-thick special-stamp-collecting book around, hoping I could do something with it, but nothing came to me.

I was discussing this problem with a classmate at school the next day, when the dude from the next bench overheard us. He turned around and looked at me with his nerdy eyes and thick glasses. I automatically assumed that I was “disturbing” him or something, and proceeded to say sorry. I never understood what these nerds were listening to the teachers for. It was all there in the book. Couldn’t they just read it themselves?

Nerd: “I’m interested in your stamp collection”
Me: “Well, that’s good. At least one of us is. Hohehehahahah!”

Apparently, nerds are not big fans of silly jokes. He then murmured that he wanted to make a deal with me. He wanted my stamp collection and was willing to make a deal for it.

Me: “What are you offering in return?”
Nerd: “The royal-rumble-special-edition-WWF-card-collection”

My friend and I gasped! The most coveted set of cards that every kid wanted, and this nerd had it. Oh my God! How stupid of him to give up this invaluable treasure in exchange for some stamps! And not even first hand stamps, but used stamps that you could no longer put on letters. What a simpleton! Without finding out where the nerd got his super-special WWF cards, I made a deal with him. The stamp collection and the WWF cards exchanged owners, and I returned home very satisfied that day. My Dad caught up with me on the dinner table to find out how my hobby was going.

Dad: “So how’s the new hobby coming along? Did you find some friends to trade stamps with?”
Me: “Oh, yeah. I made a really good deal today.”
Dad: “Excellent! See? Once you open up your mind to interesting hobbies, you automatically discover so many new things. What did you trade?”
Me: “Oh! I got the very-very-rare Tatanka super-clash trump card!”
Dad: “Eh? Which country does that stamp come from?”

My Dad hit the roof when I told him that I’d traded his stamp collection for a bunch of WWF cards. I didn’t understand what he was so upset about! These WWF cards were oh-so-much-cooler than the boring old stamps! Things got worse, later that day, when the nerd-kid’s Dad called my Dad. Apparently, the nerd kid had stolen the WWF cards from HIS brother to satisfy his “excessively compulsive” habit of collecting stamps.

And so, the transaction was reversed, and my Dad took his stamp collection, and never let me near it again. It’s a pity that I lost the WWF cards. But the good part is that he never pestered me about the hobby again.

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