Today, we have a special interview with a special person. Meet Pappu Pandey! Pappu Pandey has been spending the week at the recently concluded Auto Expo, and has graciously agreed to do an interview for us. What follows is a transcript of this interview.

Me: “So Pappu, you’ve been at the Auto Expo for the past 3 days. What interesting things have been at display at the Expo?”

Pappu: “Oh yeah! This year’s edition was sizzling! I mean what hot models! I went around to all the booths, clicking all the pictures my camera could hold of the beauties. All dressed up in exotic colors! I’ll say! Red is definitely the color of the season.”

Me: “Errr…. You are talking about the cars, right?”

Pappu: “Oh! Hmm… Oh yeah, definitely the cars. Of course! Not the models promoting the cars, but the cars themselves. Yeah, yeah. That’s what I meant!”

Me: “Anyway, did you have a chance to check out Tata’s brand new Nano? I believe there was a lot of buzz about it?”

Pappu: “Oh, there was a buzz all right! Everyone is going ga-ga over the Tata Nano. But you know, I think you shouldn’t buy one.”

Me: “Why is that? I was actually thinking of getting one of those! Why shouldn’t I get one?”

Pappu: “Tata has got this backwards. I don’t think it is the 2-wheeler folks that are going to upgrade to the Tata Nano. It’s going to be all the auto-rickshaws fellows that are going to upgrade to the Nano. I did some investigating, and found that the AutoRickshaw costs just a little more than 1-lakh, so it’s going to be actually cheaper for them!”

Me: “Really? That’s very interesting!”

Pappu: “Yeah! The Nano is going to be the new Auto. “NanoRicks”, they’re going to end up calling them, which, you must admit, sounds like an underwear company’s name. The tag line is going probably going to be “NanoRick: Kyonki Yeh Andar ki baat hai!”

Me: “Sounds plausible. But what do you think of all the environmentalists stand that it’s going to increase pollution and congestion?”

Pappu: “Pollution Shmolution! It’s all a way to scare people into believing this Global Warming nonsense! By switching Autos to Nanos, it’s going to reduce the net pollution!”

Me: “You don’t believe in Global Warming?”

Pappu: “No! I won’t believe in it till it’s hot enough to make an omelet on Anupam Kher’s head!”

Me: “Thanks for the colorful metaphor! It was nice talking to you, Pappu!”

Pappu: “No problem! Goodbye, and always remember to brush your teeth!”

Me: “What?”

Pappu: “You know, you have a higher chance of dying form teeth decay than from global warming. So, put the important problems first!”

Me: “All right! Bye bye! Pappu Pandey, Ladies and Gentlemen!”

Pappu Pandey is the secret identity of this great super hero. His secret identity is secret from some secrety-type reason. You can, however, email him at pappu@pointlesswanderings.com

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