It is the 5th Semester of College, and I’m late for class as usual. I’ve just managed to slip past the watchman as he was about to close the gates to the College. I run up the stairs into the classroom, but the class has already started. The lecturer gives me a cold stare as I walk into the room. The stare I can live with, but I’m worried that the most important part of the class - the attendance call - might be over, and my coming into the class might have become a complete waste.

I sit down at an empty place. Drinivas is sitting next to me.

Me: “Has he taken the attendance yet?”
Drinivas: “No…”
Me: “Oh, thank god! Phew. That was close… I almost missed it.”
Drinivas: “…but you missed the explanation of the third-order-beta-function. If you don’t understand beta-functions, you’re not going to understand gamma-functions.”
Me: “I’m not going to understand gamma-functions no matter what!”

Drinivas looks at me weirdly. Why some people place attendance over learning and knowledge is something he hasn’t understood at all. I once tried to explain to him that Attendance is very important to some people just like attending church is important to some people - It is just a cultural difference. But somehow, Drinivas was never convinced of it. He’s naive that way. But he’ll learn the truth soon enough.

But there is something different about him today. He’s in a chatty mood.

Drinivas: “I saw a person near my house today.”
Me: “Yeah? And I saw a Buffallo on my way today. What are the odds?!?”

Drinivas is not in a mood for my PJs today. He ignores my comment.

Drinivas: “It’s an exchange student. From Russia.”
Me: “Oh really? And how can you tell he’s Russian? Running around with a T-shirt saying ‘Vodka: Antifreeze for the Soul‘, was he?”
Drinivas: “It’s a she.”

Oohh Hoo. This girl seems to have caught Drinivas’s attention. Now the picture’s become a little clearer.

Me: “Aaaaah… Nice…. So how’s she?”
Drinivas: “She’s has certain qualities that draw one’s interest. From a visual perspective, she presents an interesting profile, and one can safely say that she has several strong attention grabbing characteristics that are well represented.”
Me: “Is that nerd talk for “She’s Hot” ?”
Drinivas: “To put it bluntly, yes”
Me: “All right! Way to go, man. Did you talk to her?”
Drinivas: “I haven’t had the opportunity, but I’m optimistic one will present itself this evening.”

Drinivas spends the rest of the day seemingly pre-occupied with thoughts about how he was going to exploit this ‘opportunity’ of his. I’m just happy he doesn’t interrupt our impromptu tic-tac-toe tournament that has broken out among the neighboring benches. At the end of the day, Drinivas rushes off. Good luck to him!

But when I see him the next day, Drinivas is looking rather glum.

Me: “Hey, how did it go yesterday with the Russian exchange student?”
Drinivas: “Not too good. There was an unforeseen glitch…”
Me: “What happened?”
Drinivas: “Apparently, she doesn’t speak any English. And worse - She’s studying Media and Communication, and that means we have absolutely nothing in common!”
Me: “Is that it?”
Drinivas: “What are you implying?”
Me: “Come on man, what’s a language barrier? You’ve got to take this opportunity by the throat and strangle it, dude!”
Drinivas: “Strangle who?”
Me: “Seize the day! Grab the apples! Jump the cliff! A mere language difference didn’t stop Romeo and Juliet!”
Drinivas: “Romeo and Juliet spoke the same language.”
Me: “OK, but for the sake of the argument, let’s say they didn’t.”
Drinivas: “What? That’s impossible. Your a-priori assumptions are wrong, so your conclusions are invariably….”
Me: “Look, who’s telling the story? Let’s just say they didn’t, OK? Now. Where were we? Yeah. They couldn’t speak the same language. But that didn’t stop them from becoming history’s heroes!”
Drinivas: “You’re not making any sense!”
Me: “I’M NOT MAKING SENSE?!? Look who’s talking!”
Drinivas: “That does it. Enough advice from you. I’m going to approach this issue in my own strategic way.”
Me: “Oh, really? And what’s your plan?”
Drinivas: “You’ll see my friend, you’ll see!”

[Update Part 2 is here]

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