The Times of India is reporting today that Shatrugan Sinha is saying that Rakhi Sawant, my favorite actress of all time, deserves the Bharat Ratna. Not kidding. Check this out!

Let me be the first to congratulate The Times of India and Shatrughan Sinha on this brilliant insight! If there was a true candidate that truely deserved the Bharat Ratna, it is Rakhi Sawant!

Rakhi Sawant deserves this award for several reasons. Firstly, Rakhi Sawant has fought crime in epic proportions. Allow me to explain:
Rakhi Sawant’s sizzling hot dance numbers are a strong attraction to vast young crowds. So, young crowds are sitting in theaters, watching Rakhi Sawant do her item numbers. And this means that they are not out on the streets causing trouble and committing crimes. Not only that, by keeping people in the theaters, she has also helped reduce incidences of domestic violence because, as we already saw, most drunk people that would otherwise cause violence at homes are sitting in the theatre. Not many people can claim to have such a dramatic impact on society. But for Rakhi Sawant, this is just another day at work!

Also, it is a very little known fact that Rakhi Sawant has fought valiantly against Global Warming. That’s right, Ladies and Gentlemen! Rakhi Sawant has taken the lead in reducing Global Warming by shedding off most of her clothes. Instead of wearing those head-to-toe garments that absorb all the sun’s rays heating up the planet, Rakhi Sawant has courageously chosen to wear less of these high-carbon-footprint and global-warming-creating clothes. This means that she has an increased surface area of skin exposed to the sun, and, as we all know, the skin reflects most of the heat from the sun back into space. And so, Rakhi Sawant has set a brilliant example for all of us to follow to help save our Planet. Scientists estimate* that Rakhi Sawant alone has managed to reduce Global Temperatures by 1-2 degrees by exposing! Even Al Gore has not done so much for Our Mother Earth!

And lastly, but most importantly, the award, by it’s very name, suggests automatically the name of Rakhi Sawant. The “Bharat Ratna” can be roughly translated into “Indian Jewel”, and a Jewel is really any precious stone, or, more generally a precious “item” .
Therefore, Ratna = Item …..Equation (1)
Bharat means India, and India is really famous for Bollywood.
Therefore, Bharat = Bollywood …………. Equation (2)

Combining Equations (1) and (2), we get Bharat Ratna = Bollywood Item Girl, which as we all know, the the one-and-only Rakhi Sawant. Therefore, Rakhi Sawant deserves the Bharat Ratna.

Hence Proved.


*I totally made that up. But you’re probably not going to read this fine print and buy the argument. But seeing as you’re reading this, I have some advice for you: Stop being so skeptical, and start believing in scientific-sounding statistics, for gods sake. It makes everyone’s life that much easier!

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