Have you heard all the hype about the “Wardrobe Malfunction” at the Lakme Fashion Week? A also have a malfunctioning wardrobe, but in a very different way. I don’t have a wardrobe. Let’s just say that my wardrobe territories were invaded by certain unnamed parties in the house, and my poor, innocent clothes have been pushed out and had nowhere to go. But no worries, I’ve invented a very innovative way to manage my clothes even without a wardrobe. I call it “Aditya’s Clothes Management Algorithm”

The central device in this algorithm is the Plastic Chair. It’s the Rs. 250 Neelkamal thing. The chair is now my entire wardrobe, but as I’ve come to realize, it’s so much better (and cooler) than a dumb wooden closet. The chair is used like the “stack” data structure, and works on the principle of “good stuff in, bad stuff out”. It also has several intelligent features. Let me demonstrate how it works.

Freshly washed clothes are dumped placed on top of the chair as they arrive. They originally come in neatly folded form, but they quickly attain their natural crumpled state once in the chair. Clothes that I’ve worn also go to the top of the stack (instead of going to the washing room, but it has some advantages as I’ll explain later), but in their natural crumpled form. The advantage of this scheme is that it creates a quickly retrievable, random-access “wardrobe” of clothes. When I need new clothes to wear in the morning, I put my hand into the pile of clothes and grab a pant and a shirt that will approximately go together. This mix-and-match way of choosing clothes creates a new style for me everyday, and I suspect that this is the exact same algorithm famous fashion divas like Madonna and Rakhi Sawant  to look all stylish and hip.

But the real genius of this scheme is how clothes automatically go for washing. It involves complicated mathematics and higher-level 3-dimensional calculus, but basically, the clothes that need washing gradually collect dust over time, and become heavy (you know, with the additional dust and all) and bubble-down to the bottom of the stack and eventually fall off the chair. At this point, the maid picks up clothes from the floor and they are dispatched to wash. Note that this scheme requires absolutely no manual intervention (a good sign that the scheme works very well) and that’s why it’s my favorite.

This scheme offers so many advantages – Automatic wash detection, high utilization of space, random access and the opportunity for high-fashion (through mix-and-match, remember?) I highly recommend it!

Bookmark To: