You’ve all probably heard already that our planet is on the bring of exploding because of this phenomenon called Global Warming. Apparently we’re dumping so much CO2 into the atmosphere that our planet is getting cooked. This is really bad, and the world, if you’ve noticed, is busy fighting this global war against… hmm… I’m not sure who we’re fighting, but it’s an exciting war. I want to do my part to help stop this Climate Change thing, and here are some things you can do to help:

1) Cut more Trees

The central problem that is causing this climate change is that we’re dumping too much CO2 into the atmosphere, and that’s why trees are our friends - They absorb the CO2 from the atmosphere and store it in their tree trunks. But once a tree is fully grown, it stops growing and that means it can’t store any extra CO2 in its branches and tree trunk. This is why we need to cut down fully grown trees, so that we can let the smaller plants get the water and soil and grow into a tree. As the small plant grows into the tree, it sucks the CO2 out of the atmosphere and stores it away.

As to what to do with Trees that we cut - we shouldn’t burn the trees because that would release the CO2 back into the atmosphere, so we need to do something else with it. Fortunately, there is plenty of things we can do with the wood - Make sofas and windows and more importantly Dining tables!

“Cut Trees, Make Sofas and Stop Global Warming!” That can be our slogan!

2) Waste more water

As you’ve probably heard, this global warming is going to cause our sea levels to rise, and if we don’t stop it, all our coastal cities - Mumbai, New York and Singapore - are all going to become underwater museums for Dolphins to enjoy. So how do we stop all this extra water from raising sea levels?

The answer, as is obvious to any sensible human, is to consume more water. Lets take all that extra water and waste it, so that it goes from our houses into the drains and then into the rivers. And before this wasted water reaches the oceans again, we should waste even more water to make up for it. So, the next time you go to the bathroom, remember to flush three or four times and waste as much water as you can - You all have to make some sacrifices for the environment.

3) Buy more stuff
Being green is expensive - companies need lots of money to go green. Buying clean energy, reducing their carbon footprint, putting up lots of advertisements claiming how the company is becoming green. I’ve heard even the green ink in color printers is starting to become more expensive - Because companies are making their printers go green too. Anyway, becoming environmentally friendly is expensive for large companies, and it takes a lot of money for that. Where is this money going to come from?

That’s why we all need to go out and shop for stuff. By giving these poor big companies our money, we can increase their profits so that they may invest more in advertising and making sure that all consumers know that the company is going green. We have to help out our big corporations with money - They have hardly any left after spending so much on buying IPL players, buying private jets and paying a few crores to their CEOs.

So the next time you go to the shopping mall, make sure you buy those shirts and dresses you’re never going to wear - It’s for a good cause. Borrow on your credit card, take out a personal loan if you have to. It’s all for the sake of the planet. You love our mother earth, don’t you?