I’ve recently been presented with a very serious moral dilemma. At office, a new gym recently opened this week, and it is on the same floor as my desk is. But that’s not the problem. I have enough will power to resist the nudges and bribes that my team mates have been offering me to go to the gym. The problem is in fact, a more serious one.

You see, the gym has several treadmills that have a TV on them along with a cable connection. And that means Cartoon Network too! This is a serious ethical issue in Adityaism. You see, going to the gym is a sin, but watching TV is a virtue. And unfortunately, thanks to the deteriorating moral fiber of society, increasingly more technological advances of the 21st century are mixing sin with virtue.

But, as is allowed in my newest religion, I am allowed to take only the good parts of all the things and ignoring the parts that I don’t like. I’ve been trying to figure out how to watch the TV on the treadmills without subjecting myself to the humiliation of exercise. I’ve been thinking for several days and I came up with a couple of plans.

Plan #1:
Fortunately, the chair that I have at my desk has wheels, and I thought I could just push the chair to the gym and sit next to the treadmill. I even thought I could put up my feet on the treadmill’s dashboard (you know, the part that shows your heartbeat and stuff) and watch my cartoons.

Plan #2:
My second plan was to put up a web cam on the treadmill and hook it up to a computer and broadcast it to my desktop. This way, I can enjoy the cartoons in comfort at my desk without going anywhere near the evil place. I even planned to take one of those tall stands from office that they keep the whiteboards on, and mount the webcam on top of that. It even makes the correct angle to catch the TV properly on the webcam.

Unfortunately, both my plans flopped. Apparently, there is a evil monster guarding the first level of hell (he calls himself the “gym instructor” though), and he laid out some rules which didn’t fit my plans. He wouldn’t let me sit in a chair in his gym, and he certainly wouldn’t let me put up a web cam on a stilt next to his precious treadmill. And so, I came up with THE MASTER PLAN to defeat the evil monster

MASTER PLAN:
Since the instructor’s two conditions were that I needed to be ON TOP the treadmill with the treadmill RUNNING if I was to watch TV, I decided I was going to satisfy both his precious conditions, but in my own special way. I’m going to wear ROLLER-SKATES to the gym, and stand on his stupid treadmill. The treadmill can run as fast as it wants, and the only thing its going to move are the wheels of my Roller-Skates.  All the cartoons I want to watch, and without even breaking a sweat! Muahahahahahaaa! Where there’s a will, there’s a way!

Related Posts