I am alive. I’ll bet a lot of you folks were getting worried that I had returned to my home planet and left you earthlings alone with the curse of global warming. But I’m not that kind of person, and I’m not going to rest until I solve this Global Warming thing once and for all.

So now, the question is, why did I ever stop blogging. I feel like I owe you an explanation. In fact, I can give you several explanations, and you folks can then pick the one that you like the most! Talk about choice!

Why I Stopped Blogging: Reason #1: I got kidnapped by Drinivas, Chitradeep Chetty and Gang.

The story goes like this: I was out on my daily exercise routine (jogging) when a couple of armed kidnappers, jumped on me from the back. They tried to put a big blanket over my head to hide their identities, but I bravely fought my attackers, and managed to land them a few punches on them (using the kung-fu skills I’d learnt in a previous life). But just as I had managed to overcome my attackers, I tripped over my shoelaces, hit my head on the pavement and because unconcious. The Evil Drinivas ans Chitradeep Chetty took this oppurtunity to kidnap me and take me to their secret hideout. They proceeded to torture me by making me watch “Kingdom of the Buffaloes” documentary on Animal Planet over and over again, until the image of the Buffalo king had deeply affected my mind.

Why I Stopped Blogging: Reason #2: The Wife discovered my blog on the internet.

This story goes like this: It had been a pretty good year for my writing career. I was writing funny stories on the web about my life. The blog was getting a little popular, when The Wife accidentally discovered all the stories that I’d written about her on the internet. That day, when I got home from work, she gave me The Death Stare From Hell (TDSFH), and I was turned into a frozen rock. For those of you unfamiliar with TDSFH, it is an advanced curse that lasts about a month, during which time the victim has to perform all household duties (like making the bed and folding the washed clothes). And that’s why I couldn’t get back on the web to continue to write my blog.

Why I Stopped Blogging: Reason #3: The Internet Electrons went on strike.

Taking a cue from the Gujjars, the electrons from the internet decided to go on strike against my blog. They were protesting the unfair representation of some casts of electrons on my blog. The allegation was that the Global Warming electrons and the Exercise Electrons were getting unfair representation on the blog. The Crappy Poetry electrons were also being promoted aggressively on the blog, but the Funny Electrons and the Cartoon electrons were completely missing out on all the action on the blog. So, they went to a strike. I promise to you that I was writing articles all through the month, but the electrons refused to stick to the blog and kept jumping away to a temporary camp they had setup at the Unofficial IPL Blog. The IPL blog was harboring the refugee electrons, and so that’s where all the action shifted to.

So there you have it. Three perfectly good, normal and sane explanations as to why I wasn’t blogging for over a month. Go on and pick your favorite reason. But anyway, I’m back now, and I assure you I’ll continue to write stories here.