I was sitting at work today when one of the greatest phenomenons of modern times happened.

It was the 27th of February, the last working day of the month. It is that time of the month when your employer acknowledges your existence, through a directed movement of electrons through the internet and the banking system, transfers stuff to your bank account. And one of the greatest phenomenons of modern times happens.

A hundred phones in the office simultaneously make the “ting-ting … ting-ting” sound of a newly received SMS. Yay! This months’ salary is here! Oh, the joy!

But this joy is coming to an end for me.

As most of you know, I’ve been trying to write CAT for a while to see if I can do an MBA, but it keeps getting jinxed. The first time I wrote it, I did well, but the IIMs cancelled the test ’cause of some paper leak. Then when the re-test came, I forgot to get up on time. Then the next year, when everyone was writing CAT, I was in a nightclub in Shanghai. Then the year after that, the IIMs rejected my application, but didn’t say why. They must have been like ‘Dude. Rethink your life’.

So I rethought, said screw you CAT, and wrote GMAT. I scored 760.

And then, I applied to the Indian School of Business, said ‘Dude, let me in’, and they were like ‘Sure, why not!’. And I was like ‘yay!’.

And so, I’m going to be leaving my cushy and interesting job at Google, and spending the next year at Hyderabad, studying, doing homework, writing assignments, staying up late and mugging one day before the exams. And hopefully, at the end of it all, the economy won’t be much worse, and I’ll have a job.

We’ll see how it goes. I will, of course, keep you all informed through this blog.

• 18 Comments

Let me try some of my own hyper-intelligent and super smart blog posts. I’ll start with my Delhi – 6 review. So I’ve copied the review and pasted it in the box… hit submit and…

WTF?!?!?!?!!!!! The internets think my Delhi – 6 review is stupid?!?!?!??? The tubes must be clogged again!

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Yes. Gmail was down for a while earlier today. Thank you to all those of you that felt the need to ping me and let me know. And special thanks to those that felt the need to explicitly call me and tell me. I was not busy with any crisis at all. Without you, I would never have realized that the product that I’ve been working on over much of the last year was down. The Google alerts system and server logs would not have alerted me to the fact the one of Google’s flagship products is down globally. So thank you very much.

I am also flattered with the confidence some of you have shown in me. Like this chat with a certain unnamed party called “X”

X: “Hey!!!!!!!! Gmail is Down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: “I know… Some problem at google’s end”
X: “Did YOU screw it up?”
Me: “No… Why would you think that?”
X: “you know…. disaster is, after all, your middle name…”
Me: “#$@%%@*&!@!@$%^&@”

I mean, come on guys.

I know I’m prone to disasters, but you don’t have to assume that every time something goes wrong, I am responsible. I can assure you that it was not me this particular time.

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WTF??!?

There. That’s my whole review of this movie. WTF?!?

I mean what the hell is going on with this movie? The whole thing sounds like a moral science lecture. Start to finish. This entire movie is a Moral Science revision lesson from 6th standard.

This movie makes no sense at all. At any level. So this Abhisekh Bacchan comes to New Delhi from New York to help his Granny die. Oh yes, that’s not a typo. He brings her to Delhi to die. But what I can’t understand is how the hell does Abhisekh Bacchan get so many days leave from his job? Then again, maybe he’s a banker and just got laid off. Recession and all.

The director of this movie must have been at a party and someone told him about symbolism and metaphors. And an epic sense of realization came over him – “You mean we can show a pigeon that can’t fly and people will think it represents the middle-class girl who can’t fly into the real world? That’s just abso-frinkin-lutely brilliant!”

And so, after getting high on this new gyaan that dawned on him, he’s just created a movie with one metaphor after another, trying desperately to tie them together. And has failed spectacularly.

I mean, there are more metaphors in this movie than item-number-babes in Bollywood  The Kala Bandar as a metaphor for the darkness in our hearts, the Ram Leela as a metaphor for … errr… for the destiny of our lives? Then the dark alleys of Delhi -6 as a metaphor for the total lack of regulation in the electricity sector in India? Ridiculous. The only metaphor that made sense to me was the depiction of the burning tree, which seems to symbolize this frickin movie itself that is going to burn and go up in flames, taking the producers’ money with it.

That’s a metaphor that the producer is going to remember for a long long time. The rest of us should forget this meta-disaster immediately.

• 14 Comments